Friday, June 23, 2017

An A to Z Guide to Baseball and Politics


Baseball enthusiasts around the country will be watching tonight’s Major League All-Star Game. For sports fans and non-sports fans alike, staying current on local, state, and most certainly national politics has become more popular and important that ever before. If you don’t have a favorite baseball team, you probably have an opinion how the country is being governed. Baseball and politics have a long-standing connection. Sitting presidents have thrown out first pitches dating back to William Howard Taft. Capitol Hill has hosted hearings on everything from player strikes to performance-enhancing drugs. And sadly because of last month’s unthinkable shooting at a republican practice field, I learned that there’s an annual congressional baseball charity game. Because politics in America have become so polarized, I thought it was time to try to create some national healing courtesy of the national pastime. So from the Dickson Baseball Dictionary I bring you my bipartisan listing of baseball’s top political words and expressions.

A is for Antitrust Exemption – A 1922 unanimous SCOTUS decision that removed baseball from the antitrust laws. Or when a manager inserts a pinch hitter because he believes the batter can’t get a hit.

B is for Big League – A synonym for the Major Leagues. Or President Trump’s favorite adjective to describe his every thought, idea, plan, and policy. Also pronounced, “Bigly”.

C is for Chicken on the Hill – A homerun hit by former Pirate Willie Stargell. He owned a chicken restaurant in Pittsburgh’s Hill District. Whenever he homered, the person at the counter would receive free chicken. Also known as a congressman who votes along party lines instead of what’s best for his constituents.

D is for Defensive Average – An estimate of a player’s fielding efficiency, comparing the number of plays he makes to the number of balls hit into his vicinity. Also the statistic used to quantify the number of times a sitting president supports a policy move compared to the number of times he blames his predecessor.

E is for Ecological Fastball – A fastball that seldom exceeds 55 miles per hour. Also the name for Nancy Pelosi’s pitch to create the House Select Committee on Energy and Global Warming in 2007.

F is for Federal League – An eight-team professional league back in 1914-1915. It was the last serious attempt to establish a third professional league. Players in the Federal League were politically independents, libertarians or Green Party members.

G is for Get Naked – What a coach might yell to a pitcher who seems to be losing his concentration. Or Bill Clinton’s favorite executive order.

H is for Human Rain Delay – A batter who takes a long time preparing to receive each pitch. Also known as a filibuster.

I is for Isolated Power – A measure of a player’s performance in hitting for extra bases. Or what a president really has when the opposing party controls congress.

J is for Joe Bush – A college ballplayer, especially one who shows his lack of experience. Not to be confused with Jeb Bush.

K is for Kangaroo Court – A clubhouse tradition in which senior players assess small fines to teammates for on-field miscues such as missing a sign or not running out a popup. Currently, Reince Priebus presides over the White House’s Kangaroo Court collecting almost daily from Trump and Kellyanne Conway for blunders on Twitter and during interviews.

L is for Ladies Day – A promotional event offering women free or reduced admission to the ballpark on certain days. Or what January 20, 2017 would have been called had Hilary prevailed.

M is for Magic Wand – The bat of a player who is getting several lucky hits. Or what democrats across the nation wish they could wave to take us back to last November 8.

N is for No Trade Clause – A stipulation in a player’s contract that prohibits him to be traded without his consent. Or what Trump threatens to impose if efforts to renegotiate NAFTA breakdown.

O is for Older than Baseball – An expression conveying age, similar to “older than dirt”. Also used to describe current Congressman John Conyers, who at 88 years old, has been serving since 1965. See also Orin Hatch and Patrick Leahy.

P is for Press Box – An area within the ballpark reserved for sportswriters and broadcasters. Or a synonym for the battles between the media and Sean Spicer.

R is for Revenue Sharing – The collective term for proposals to reduce the disparity between large-market clubs and small-market clubs. See also Bernie Sanders.

S is for “Say It Ain’t So, Joe” – A famous lament that came to represent the 1919 Black Sox scandal in which Shoeless Joe Jackson and seven of his White Sox teammates were accused of throwing the World Series. Also, one of the last things President Obama whispered to his VP before Trump took office.

T is for Tiffany Card – A baseball card issued by Topps between 1987 and 1993 that was known for its higher prices. Or what Secret Service members say they’ve drawn when assigned to protect Trump’s youngest daughter.

V is for Vacuum Cleaner – An excellent fielder. While regarded as an underwhelming president, it’s a little-known fact that Herbert Hoover was a tremendous infielder before entering the political arena.

W is for “Wait ‘Til Next Year” – The plaintive mantra of fans whose team has once again fallen short of expectations. Or Elizabeth Warren’s 2019 campaign slogan.

Y is for Young Hopeful – A promising player who has not yet established a record. Or what dems had labeled 30-year-old Jon Ossoff before last month’s Georgia’s special election.


There you go everybody. Enjoy the game and play ball.

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