Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

The author social distancing
as a kid in Tiger Stadium.
 Say good-bye to Opening Day in July. 

Opening Day is back where it belongs, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Following 2020’s shortened season, a full schedule of baseball starts today. No more cardboard cutouts. No more piped-in sound effects. Covid robbed us of in-person baseball viewing like Mike Trout steals homers. Last year was the first season since second grade that I didn’t attend at least one game. 

 

Baseball is back and I can’t wait to get to the ballpark.

 

Nearly all 30 teams are welcoming some, if not all, fans this year. Numbers range from only 1,000 fans in Detroit to a full-capacity stadium in Texas. The local Dodgers and Angels are opening at 20 percent capacity. Imagine a game with only 8,500 fans. Having my own row with nobody sitting behind me or in front of me sounds heavenly. 

 

I much prefer baseball on TV but getting to a game in person is still special and it’s something I like to do at least once a year. It’s an annual pilgrimage. It’s a real-time flashback to one’s youth. It’s paying homage to sitting in the stands with your dad or your best high school friend. It’s a few hours of uninterrupted conversational catching up with a buddy. 

 

It’s an annual invitation to become a kid again.

 

Televised baseball is great, but it doesn’t give you the ballpark experience. The smell of the hotdogs and the popcorn. The beauty of the manicured grass so green you’d think you were Ireland. I like watching the grounds crew prep the field and the players warm up. I like to rise when the home team takes the field and remain at attention for the national anthem. Sitting under the lights or in the sun watching nine defenders move in synchronized movement is wondrous. 

 

It takes multiple TV replays to see everything that happens after one pitch. The crack of the bat is like a shot from a starter’s pistol. It signals the simultaneous movement of nearly a dozen participants. The ball skips into the corner, and when it does, my behind lifts off the seat. I begin to track the action unfolding gloriously before me. The batter become a sprinter, rounding first with pin-point precision. The right fielder retrieves the ball, turns, and throws. A runner from first rounds second and chugs for third. The third base coach windmills him toward home. The cutoff man catches and whirls in one fantastically fluid movement. The pitcher backs up home. The catcher readies to receive the ball and then tries to make a sweep tag. I leap to my feet when the gloved fingers of the runner slide smoothly across the plate. It lasts a few seconds, but it’s as beautiful as a ballet. And it’s worth the price of admission.

 

Especially if you’re talking 1980s prices. Which is when my journeys to the ballpark increased in earnest. Dad ushered me into a lifetime of live baseball, but in the 80s I was old enough to go on my own. I lived in Detroit and the Tigers were competitive. A group of friends would drive Motown’s sunken Lodge Freeway to downtown Detroit. Tiger Stadium didn’t have a parking lot. We’d park on a nearby side street to avoid paying massive city-lot prices. Within seconds a neighborhood boy would arrive on his banana-seated bike, offering to watch our car for a buck. We’d buy peanuts for another buck from a vendor before crossing the footbridge that spanned the freeway. Then we’d feel the heat of the summer sun radiating off the white-washed walls of my once beloved stadium.

 



Ticket prices to sit in the bleachers were cheaper than a movie. Once inside, the bowels of Tiger Stadium were dank and gloomy. We’d walk up a concrete ramp to the upper deck. We’d step in the footprints of decades of Detroiters who watched the Tigers battle American League stars from Lou Gehrig to Cal Ripken, Jr. But then we’d emerge from the darkness, into the kingdom of light that the bleachers provided. Sometimes we could spread out. At others, we’d sit shoulder to shoulder. At some point, the sun would set, and the lights would spark to life. We’d watch Tiger heroes Kirk Gibson, Alan Trammell, Lou Whitaker, and Jack Morris. We’d hope for a Tigers’ win and see opponents do the unforgettable. I remember Angels’ rookie Wally Joyner hit homer off the facing above the rightfield upper deck. Then there’s a Jose Conseco blast that nearly struck the 125-foot flagpole (Flagpole History) that stood before the bleachers like a ship’s mast. 

 

The flagpole was actually in play.

Those summer nights slipped past like a pennant waving in the breeze. Back then, none of us knew what our lives held in store. No did we know that we were creating memories, as the line from Field of Dreams goes, “So thick that they’ll have to brush them away from their faces.” 

 

I’ve sat in cheap seats and box seats in stadiums all over the country. Like Tiger Stadium, some of them are gone. I’d like to visit the few ballparks I’ve missed. But I’d rather have the opportunity to watch one more game with my best high-school friend in Motown. Or to catch one more game with my dad. In the meantime, I’ll go to a game in Anaheim with my dearest local buddy. After the pains of 2020, it might be a memory of a lifetime. 


A great day for a ballgame.

 

Maybe you’ve got a ticket to a game today. Go ahead and play hooky. Or stay home and cook some hotdogs on the grill. Set the DVR and pop your favorite beverage. Make it a great day. Create some memories. Because today, baseball is back. 

 

Tiger Stadium.


Sunday, February 14, 2021

Lessons on the Road to Love

 The journey to find love is a bewildering and complex endeavor. Some people are lucky enough to meet the love of their life at an early age. While others may never do so. There are those who have many loves over the course of a lifetime while others spend a lifetime loving just one person. For ages, lyricists have been trying to capture the mystery of love. Their most pertinent questions include: What is Love? What’s Love Got to Do with It? And How Deep is Your Love?

 

Personally, I think Love is a Many Splendored Thing. It can be Modern, and it can be Endless. There’s No Ordinary Love. There’s a Higher Love, a Look of Love, and if you can find it, a Love Shack (It’s down the Atlanta Highway, I believe). Love is blind and there’s Blinding Love. I’ve been lucky enough to love and to be loved. And sadly, yes, I’ve been unlucky in love. 

 

When it comes down to it, finding love is an educational process. You have to learn That You Can’t Hurry Love. But when it finally happens, it’s quite magical. Even if it may have just been puppy love. Like many, my initial love was in high school. I officially felt the Power of Love. It was intoxicating and innocent. At this stage, young lovebirds are crazy in love and Addicted to Love. That is until they suddenly aren’t. Enter lesson No. 2: Love Bites and Love Stinks. Your first love may have also dished out your first helping of heartbreak with a side of Tainted Love. Raise your hand if you’ve encountered someone who Gives Love a Bad Name. 

 

That’s when you learn that Love is a Battlefield, but Pat Benatar didn’t coin the phrase all’s fair in love and war. That axiom goes as far back as 1578 and English poet John Lyly's romantic novel, "Euphues: The Anatomy of Wit." I think Mr. Lyly was more of a lover than a fighter because the working title of his tome was, If You Love Someone Set Them Free. I don’t know if Lyly was lovesick or not, but heartbreak can mess with a lovestruck mind. You’ll do anything to get her back, you’ll ask anyone to Send Her My Love, and you’ll end every unreturned email and text with I Will Always Love You.

 

The next lesson to grasp is that time does bring healing. After you recover from romantic setbacks, the search to find Somebody to Love resumes. The quest may seem unending. Thoughts of I’d Do Anything for Love consume your mind. When you’re single you suddenly forget what love is like. You find yourself yearning and telling your friends that you Want to Know What Love Is. But When Loves Comes to Town your world is again radiant. The air is cleaner, the sun is brighter, and the birds are happier. Because When you Love a Woman (or a man) everything is better. You’ve realized that All You Need is Love. You’ve found your True Fine Love; you’re riding the Love Train through the Tunnel of Love where all you hear are Silly Love Songs. When you’re apart, you FaceTime and say, I Just Called to Say I Love You. Then you whisper schmoopie things into the phone like I Just Can’t Stop Loving You and Love Will Keep Us Together.

 

Personally, the course of true love never did run smoothly, and my journey to discovering love wound through more deserts than the river Nile. I marveled at my friends who got married right out of college. I wondered when my time would come. I felt like I had a lot of love to give, I just had to find somebody who would let My Love Open the Door. Thankfully, my heart hit paydirt when I met Beautiful Karla.

 

Her love Makes the World go ‘Round. It may not have been love at first sight, but it was pretty close to it. Possibly fourth or fifth sight. I love her to pieces, and I love her to death. The greatest thing is that she loves me just as I am; moods, issues, and love handles included. I relish her tender love and care. 

 

She loves so well. She’s memorized the love handbook and runs its plays with Tom Brady like precision. Her love is patient and kind. 

It protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. 

It never fails or boasts. 

It isn’t easily angered or self-seeking. 

She keeps no record of wrongs. 

She’s an eternal optimist who always looks for the best.

 

I’ve never bragged about being the quickest study. Like the lawyer who failed the bar exam or the doctor to had to repeat the boards it seems like I had to learn these lessons more than a few times over. But with Beautiful Karla I finally aced the test. Finding her makes all the years of love-detention worth it. Because being loved by the right person can make any love-school dropout feel like a Supreme Court Justice or the Surgeon General. 

 

Love is a verb and love is a choice. It certainly takes work. But don’t give up and don’t Stop (in the Name of Love). And that’s the final lesson. If you’re on your 25th year of marriage or still searching for the one that captures your heart, keep working and keep looking. Because the real deal is worth all the platinum albums in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. 

 

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day as you celebrate your Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

My Journeys as a Cardboard Cutout

Like most things in our Amazon-Prime world of free-shipping, my cardboard cutout arrived in the mail. It would be the first journey of its travel-filled summer.

 

Maybe you’ve seen the cardboard cutouts of spectator’s faces seated in the baseball stadiums. The Dodgers are one of the teams that has cutouts. They had two prices, $149 and $299, with the proceeds going to the charities supported by the team’s foundation. I thought these were fair prices, somewhat close to what I’d spend on a night at the ballpark (the former) and (the latter) if I wanted concessions. I decided to forgo ordering from the Dodgers, instead getting a cardboard cutout from a printshop in Fresno for a fraction of the cost.

 

I mapped out my travel plans while waiting for my likeness to arrive in the mail. I ordered a number of padded envelopes (I need to travel in comfort), printed pre-paid shipping labels, and placed phone calls to all the people I’d be visiting. I also included a detailed itinerary so not to confuse anyone.

 

I was pleased with the quality of my cutout, I looked quite nice if I do say so myself. I named him Flat Tony. Soon after being delivered, Flat Tony boarded a motorhome with my friends Will and Dee for a roadtrip to the national parks of southern Utah and Arizona. I‘ve always said that Zion National Park is my happy place, so it was amazing to revisit it once again. But my first trip to Bryce National Park was more spectacular than I imagined. We hiked for hours, and I sat atop Will’s backpack, completely enjoying the views while also keeping a watchful eye on his two children. We last stopped at the Grand Canyon and once again I was awed by the majesty and grandeur of the grandest of erosion-induced landforms.

 

2020 was supposed to include my first-ever cruise. I was going to go to Alaska to see whales and glaciers. Remember the cruise ship that was docked in San Francisco harbor back in the early days of the pandemic? That was to be our boat, the SS Coronavirus. Despite the cancelation of all cruises, I still made it to Alaska, traveling via first-class mail to my cousin Jim’s house in Wasilla. The memories of this visit will last a lifetime. Jim took me fishing, whale-watching, and glacier-viewing. I included instructions to stuff me into the next pre-labeled envelope after a two-night stay. Like the fish we caught, I didn’t want to smell after three days.

 

I thought this summer would be a good time to check off a few baseball stadiums I have yet to visit. Jim mailed me to my cousin Dave in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. It was my longest journey of the summer, a whopping 3,300 miles. Dave took me to a Marlin’s game. Dave is a top-notch chef, so the food was picture-perfect. Dave then mailed me to my cousin John’s place outside of Tampa so I could attend a Rays' game. He then sent me to my cousin in Orlando, who then mailed me to John’s daughter Tracy in Atlanta so I could catch the Braves in action. Houston and Toronto now remain as my last two teams to visit. Since I don’t have family or friends in these cities, I decided to focus on traveling the country. Tracy shipped me North Carolina. Then it was on to the DC area to see a gaggle of cousins there. They then sent me on to Michigan to see relatives on both sides of the family tree. My final stop was in St. Louis, where more kinsfolk on my mom’s side reside. I cherished being able to see my aunt Shirley, who at 89 years old is the eldest stateswoman in the family. The get-togethers were special at every destination. 

 

The St. Louis clan then sent me homeward. I arrived just in time for one more motorhome trek, this time with Rick and Lynn to Yellowstone National Park. The ride was as smooth as a fine wine and offered the needed rest after thousands of miles of air travel. 

 

When Flat Tony finally returned home, I found my cutout a little worn and tattered. My corners were bent, and my edges were frayed. I needed a good disinfecting. I put my cutout in the car and drove myself around town. I went by my church which is still off limits. I thought maybe I should sneak Flat Tony inside on a Sunday. It might be cool to see myself on the next Livestream, peaking over the shoulder of Todd the drummer. I showed Flat Tony my gym, which I haven’t entered into since it’s brief summer reopening. I think of the owner, my friend Gil, and hope he’s surviving. I pointed out my favorite restaurant and its parking-lot dining area, thankful that the Chef is still cooking. We passed empty movie theaters and the massage studio that used to keep my back kink-free. I wonder if it will still be in business when the pandemic ends.

 

I decided to make one more stop. I went to my classroom. It was empty of course, a lonely reminder of our times. I looked around, sad that it will remain vacant probably into 2021. I wished for the clamor of learning in progress. Instead, like Zoom students on mute, there’s nothing but silence. 

 

How weird I thought, as we drove home, how much our lives have changed and how different things are depending on where you live. I could drive a few miles south, cross the Orange County border, and experience a totally different level of freedom. Flat Tony got to travel the country, but I can’t go to church or eat in a restaurant. Unless I want to drive to Anaheim or San Diego.

 

Back at home, I showed Flat Tony my upstairs guestroom/classroom. He looked like he might cry, but he was impressed with the flat screen TV. So, I turned on the baseball playoffs. After weeks of travel, he looked right at home.