The Olympics of Teaching

I love the Olympics.

Despite NBC’s (Nothing But Commercials) coverage, every four years I become a passionate viewer. I love the swimming, diving, gymnastics, and track (aka … the only four sports shown during Prime Time). I got hooked on the Olympics as a kid, and I’ve been a fan ever since. From Nadia in ’76 to Phelps and Co. this year, I can’t get enough. I love the rivalries in the pool, the podium’s tears of joy, and the bum, bum, bum … bum, da dum of the theme song. I love the expressions of shock, elation, and unbelief. I love newcomers bursting onto the world’s stage and I love veterans who can show that they’ve still got it. I love world records. I could watch Usain Bolt run with my hair on fire. Dan Hicks and Rowdy Gaines could make excitement out of a lawn-mowing contest.

The Olympics are founded upon dedication and sacrifice. I can’t wrap my head around the amount of work these athletes put in. The hours it takes to qualify for the Olympics is mind-boggling. And then winning or losing is potentially decided by a hundredth of a second. Unfathomable. I don’t want to smirk at how much professional athletes work. But at least they get to play regularly. Yes, many Olympic athletes compete in college or in annual national and world events. It’s still not the same. Phelps has had 30 Olympic finals. LeBron James has played 987 games. We know Mike Trout is the best because he plays every night. Simone Biles, Katie Ledecky, and Ashton Eaton have to wait every four years to display their talents.

The Olympics are just different. As a life-long sportster, I know what it’s like to hit a homer, sink a game-winner, or smack a forehand down the line. But I have no idea what it’s like to plummet 30 feet into a pool in the smallest of speedos. I can’t relate to spinning, flipping, cartwheeling, and twirling on a four-inch leather-wrapped plank. I’ve never had to stick the landing, take my mark, or answer Michelle Tafoya’s side-lane questions.

The Olympics are about simplicity, repetition, and a pursuit of perfection. Team sports have so many moving parts. There’s strategy and play calling. Even sports like golf and tennis have multiple swings, shots, specialties, and strategies. But so many of the Olympic sports can be boiled down to one simple task. Swim. Dive. Run, or jump. Then repeat 10,000 times in search of excellence. One misstep, slip, or fall can spell defeat. Every component to each race or dive or routine has to be flawless. Great baseball players fail 70 percent of the time. Superstar basketball players miss half of their attempts. Hall-of-Fame quarterbacks misfire on 40 percent of their passes. Olympic athletes can’t afford a single mistake.

School started this week, and the early morning wake-ups have put an Olympic-sized crimp in my Olympic viewing. But that’s ok, because being a teacher in itself comes with it’s own set of exhausting events. Here are just a few:

• Weightlifting – Setting up a classroom after summer break isn’t just about hanging some posters and passing out books. Teachers also have to move desks, file cabinets, and tables. Last week after changing classrooms for the umpteenth time, I also had to track down my missing files because the “district’s movers” wouldn’t lug my file cabinets upstairs. Then the bookcases in my new room were older than Noah Webster. Thankfully, I was allowed to get three new ones, but only after carting them 800 meters and hoisting them on my back up a flight of stairs.

• Heptathlon -- Olympic female track athletes compete in seven differing events. Meanwhile elementary school teachers are also adept at being medical-care providers, psychologists, counselors, entertainers, social workers, field-trip guides, and in my district, breakfast servers.  

• Decathlon – Male track athletes compete in 10 grueling events, while elementary school teachers are experts in reading, writing, math, history, geography, science, art, P.E., health, and the ever-important event “cutting and rolling eight-foot lengths of butcher paper”.

• Hurdles – As if engaging 24-36 bright little angels with mind-blowing lesson plans isn’t hard enough, teachers are also forced to jump through many hoops. Staff meeting, adjunct duties, professional developments, grade-level meetings, district assessments, and standardized testing are just a few. Plus there’s enough paperwork to keep an administrative assistant busy all day.

• High Jump – Olympic high jumpers may clear the bar at over seven feet, but every year I grade a stack of papers tall enough to make Dwight Stones shudder.

• Marathon – When Spring Break arrives early, the stretch drive to the end of the year can feel like running a 26.2 miles.

• Sprints – As soon as the recess bell sounds, teachers have to race to the nearest restroom with Bolt-like speed and precision.

The next summer games will be in Tokyo. However, in my mind, the real Olympics take place at Taper Ave. Elementary and in thousands of other schools across our nation. Every morning I get to say hello to some gold-medal-worthy instructors. I know they daily strive for pedagogical perfection in the same way that Allyson Felix and Brianna Rollins run for athletic glory. It is a pleasure to call them colleagues.

Here’s to the Olympics and to a great school year!