Balance the Budget – To tie the score. Also, something the federal government has been unable to do since 2001 when Wander Franco, MLB’s youngest player, was born.
Banker’s League – Nickname for the Negro national league because many of the league’s owners were bankers. Is there a more appropriate term for today’s game? Even back-up shortstops and journeymen outfielders have inflated bank accounts with the league’s $570,500 minimum salary.
Bank’s Dictum – The name given to Ernie Banks’ famous line, “It’s a great day for a ballgame, let’s play two.” Today’s bank’s dictum sounds like, “Show me the money,” which is what Juan Soto will be saying when he hits the free-agent market at the end of the 2024 season.
Chase Card – A baseball card that is so desirable or rare that people buy packs of baseball cards searching for them. Also, the name of the card I need to use to pay for current ticket prices. Along with my Citibank card, my Capital One card, and my American Express card.
Competitive Balance Tax – A term used by major league baseball owners for what is popularly known as the luxury tax. Also, California Governor Newsom’s plan to equally tax Little League concession stands in both high-and low-income neighborhoods.
Debt Equity Rule – A requirement that prohibits a major-league club from carrying debt that is more that roughly 60 percent of the revenues and market value of the franchise. Or another name for the local school board’s plan to ensure that all teachers carry the same amount of school-supply shopping debt.
Dime Hit – A scratch hit. When I was a kid, a dime hit was a household chore that paid a 10-cent allowance.
Dime Player – And infielder who lacks hustle and spirit. When I had collected enough ten-cent pieces, I became anything but a dime player as I hurried to the store for more baseball cards.
Dime Ya – For a pitcher to display exceptional control, as in, “He can dime, ya”. Or what my mom decreed as she created more chores for me, “I’ll dime, ya for scrubbing those cabinets!”
Futures Game – an annual All-Star game of top minor-league prospects, usually scheduled during the major-leagues’ All-Star game. Also, an office contest played by contending teams’ general managers in which they twirl a Wheel-of-Fortune-type spinner to determine which prospects can be dealt for key trade-deadline acquisitions.
Gashouser – A member of the Gashouse Gang (the St. Louis Cardinals of the early 1930s). Or when college roommates pool their resources to pay for a tank of gas.
Laundering – The early efforts by major-league clubs to avoid the restrictions in the 1903 National Agreement on sending players to a minor-league team by repeatedly selling and repurchasing a player to a minor-league club with which they held a cozy but unofficial relationship. Or when the Padres’ clubhouse attendants try to funnel the team’s hideous City Connect uniforms to an offshore dry cleaner with the hopes that they’ll be lost forever.
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| San Diego's City Connect Uniforms |
Millionaire’s Club – A group of players who annual salaries reach seven figures. There were 73 players in the club in 1988. As of 2020, 65 percent of Major Leaguers made $1,000,000. In my mind, the true Millionaire’s Club is comprised of the teachers, nurses, and blue-collar workers who pay the salaries of today’s big leaguers.
Money Bags – Any highly paid player, esp. one who makes more than his teammates. Or Max Scherzer’s, baseball’s highest paid player, vanity license plate: $$$BAGS.
Money Ball – A pitch that is hit for a homerun. Or the baseball used for a game of catch between author Michael Lewis and actor Brad Pitt.
Money Pitch – A pitcher’s most effective pitch. Also, the phone calls GMs will be making before next summer’s trade deadline to pry Shohei Ohtani away from the Angels.
One-Hundred-Thousand-Dollar Infield – The Philadelphia Phillies infield from 1911 to 1914. Their alleged value, not their collective salaries. By comparison, three teams (Rangers, Padres, Cardinals) have TWO infielders making a combined $55 million, while the Dodgers’ usual starting infield rakes in a combined $81 million.
Salary Drive – A period of good performance and/or behavior seemingly staged for the benefit of the player’s paycheck rather than the benefit of the team. Also, what I dubbed my 10-minute commute to the picket lines during the 2019 LAUSD teacher’s strike.
This morning it was announced that a rare Honus Wagner baseball card was recently auctioned for $7.25 million. In 1908 Wagner became the first player to earn five figures ($10,000). Three years ago, his salary after being adjusted for inflation would translate to over $280,000. But using today’s inflation rate, his income would be Scherzer-esque. Now that’s some salary drive.
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| The Honus Wagner Card |
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