Heaven's Murderer's Row

There’s the great double-play trio of Tinker to Evers to Chance. But how about the one of King David to Zacchaeus to Samson?

The amazing little book, “Heaven is for Real,” got me wondering if there is baseball in heaven. In the book, three-year-old Colton Burpo survives an emergency operation for a ruptured appendix. Over the next few years he recounts his “three-minute” trip to heaven while he was in the operating room.

Colton had time to see God, sit with Jesus, and meet John the Baptist, an unborn sister, and his great grandfather. I emailed Colton’s father, who wrote the book, to ask him to find out if there is indeed baseball in heaven. Colson, now 11 years old, answered in the affirmative. He also said that many of the Old and New Testament Bible characters are still active and very much enjoy the after-life’s pastime.

This immediately made me wonder who was playing and what positions they took up. Here’s what I came up with:

At first-base I’d put Samson. The guy was so strong that he’d be a consistent homerun threat. No doubt he’d bat clean-up. Keep him away from the barber and he’d lead the league in all the power stats. Forget Brian Wilson’s beard, in heaven there’s commercials about Samson’s hair.

My second baseman would be Zacchaeus. Not known for his size, Zacchaeus was quick and had good hands as he demonstrated by climbing a tree to get a view of Jesus. I’d bat him second, hoping he could draw a ton of walks. He was also a tax-collector known for ripping the people off, so I’m sure he be able to steal some bases too.

King David would be my shortstop. David was a leader and fierce competitor. He’d be my field general and a calming influence when thing got tough. Plus, he had a great arm and could really sling the ball across the diamond.

Third base is known as the “hot corner” and I can’t find anyone more suited for its trials than Daniel. If he could survive a den of lions, then third base is piece of cake. Plus, he knows a thing or two about heat, having witnessed his three buddies tossed into a fiery furnace.

Moving to the outfield you’d find one of my favorite southpaws of the Old Testament, Ehud. I see him batting third in front of Samson, providing some lefty, righty matchup problems for the opposing pitcher. Plus, as the team’s only port-sider, he could also come in as a late-inning relief specialist.

Moses would be my center fielder for the simple fact that he can cover a ton of ground. Gideon would be playing right field. He was another of the Lord’s mighty warriors, strong enough to defeat whole armies with only a few fellow soldiers. He also pulled down a tower with his bare hands. Something tells me that he’s got a rocket for an arm.

On the mound as my starting pitcher would be the great prophet Elijah. With a fastball in the upper 90’s, he could really bring the heat. Anybody who can call down fire from heaven and depart from Earth in a chariot of fire deserves to be my flame-throwing ace every fifth day.

Doing the catching is the Apostle Paul. The guy was simply tough as nails. He endured shipwrecks, beatings, and stonings which makes him perfect for blocking balls in the dirt and absorbing collisions from the occasional bang-bang play at the plate.

The team’s closer would be the Apostle Peter. He has the crazy volatile temperament to handle the pressure of the being the pitcher needed to end the game. He was reactionary, hot-headed, and tad dense; a description of a few of the great closers in recent memory.

My DH would be Jacob. With his bad hip he just can’t play in the field every day. Noah could also DH and serve as a pinch hitter because he can really handle the lumber.

My pinch runners would be Jonah because he was always on the move, first running from God and then to God. Also the prodigal son had a gift for running home as well.

With all his wisdom, Solomon would be a terrific manager. Handling the umpiring duties would be Israel’s greatest Judge, Samuel.

Jesus, no doubt is the ultimate five-tool player and could also serve as the team trainer. He’s much too busy holding the universe together to play every day, but Solomon often beckons him to the plate whenever the situation calls for a sacrifice.

Is California Against Slavery?

Slavery in America didn’t end with President Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation of 1863. In fact, it is still alive and not only well, but horrific, tragic, and alarmingly prosperous.

Now a days, slavery deals with human trafficking and sex. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services defines human trafficking as subjecting a person to “force, fraud, or coercion for the purpose of sexual exploitation or forced labor.” There are 12.3 million slaves world-wide today, including the thousands of children working the cocoa plantations of east Africa.

In the U.S., there are 100,000 to 300,000 American minors (starting at age 12) exploited by pimps every year. Visualize an overhead shot of the sold out Rose Bowl stadium on New Year’s Day. Now double or triple that. That’s what 100,000-300,000 people looks like.

As many as 17,500 slaves are brought to the U.S. each year. California basically serves as the welcome wagon for these victims. Los Angeles leads the list of the FBI’s High Intensity Child Sex Trafficking Areas. San Francisco and San Diego also make the top 10. California’s large markets and ports make it a hub for human trafficking. But, also the state’s penalties against traffickers are less than golden. In California the time does not fit the crime.

In 2005, California passed AB 22 California Trafficking Victims Protection Act. Under which trafficking of a minor is punishable by 4, 6, or 8 years and trafficking of an adult is punishable by 3, 4, or 5 years. These numbers are less than the penalty for rape and kidnapping. These prison terms are ineffective because victims are reluctant to testify in court if the perpetrators are going to be back on the streets in fewer months that it takes to pay off a car loan. Also, the current laws make it tough to prosecute the pimps who do not use “physical force” of minors they’ve got working for them. Instead, the girls are arrested for prostitution.

Many groups and organizations are trying to eradicate human trafficking. These include Oasis, Polaris, Free the Slaves, Shared Hope International, Stop the Traffik, and Captive Daughters. One group, California Against Slavery (CAS), is attempting to get a ballot initiative passed which will enact stronger state laws that remove the profits from human trafficking and increase the penalties to the criminals.

CAS, a non-partisan human-rights organization, hopes to put the initiative on the 2012 November election ballot. Getting an initiative on the ballot takes a lot of time, money, and ink. CAS needs roughly 750,000 signatures of California residents. There will be an intensive signature gathering effort this fall. That is, of course, if CAS can raise a needed $1 million to fund the effort.

The CAS ballot initiative, if passed, will dramatically increase prison sentences for those convicted of human trafficking in California. It will also greatly increase the fines. It will allow those caught in sex trafficking to be registered as sex offenders. It will make it easier to prosecute sex trafficking of minors. And it will call for a mandatory two-hour minimum of law enforcement training.

My first question after looking into this issue was why aren’t our state politicians tackling things? The answer: Politics. Due to the state’s economy and prison overcrowding there is unwillingness in Sacramento to pass any bill that’s going to cost money or increase prison terms. Meanwhile, the crooks get richer while avoiding a trip up the river.

This weekend is crucial for CAS. The group is hosting walk-a-thons to spearhead its fund-raising campaign. On Saturday, August 27, CAS is having a walk-a-thon in Fullerton, CA at Craig Regional Park. Then on Sunday, August 28, there will be walk-a-thons in Bay Area at San Leandro Marina Park and in San Diego at Harbor Island Park. The events range from a two-mile stroll to a competitive 5K race. There will be speakers and information booths from many other Anti-Trafficking groups. Please check out the CAS website at californiaagainstslavery.org for more information.

If you can’t make the walk-a-thons this weekend you can donate on the CAS website. You can also register for updates. I ask you to consider forwarding the CAS website to your friends and relatives. You can spread the word through Facebook. However, these words on your screen may not be enough. I urge you to go to the CAS website or the sites of the organizations mentioned above. Read the stories of the victims. Watch the videos. Learn how American teenage girls are kidnapped and coerced into prostitution through Craigslist. Watch the story of 11-year-old Ming Dang, who was sold for sex by her parents in San Jose. Learn about Elena, who was trafficked from Peru to Los Angeles by a professor for slave labor. Watch the CNN Freedom Project. Search for MSNBC’s “Sex Slaves in America.”

Without a doubt, this is sickening topic. What is even more appalling is the money generated by this epidemic. How does $30 billion grab you? That’s twice what Walmart, the world’s largest retailer, brings in annually. CAS needs a tiny fraction of that amount to accomplish its goal. Then in November of 2012 the voters can respond. Hopefully, it will be in a manner in which our elected officials have yet to do.

You say SEP-EL-VAY-DAH, I say SEH-PUL-VE-DUH

When I transplanted to Los Angeles from Michigan in 1988, my biggest challenge, aside from dealing with the freeway system, was deciphering the streets and city names that are in Spanish.

Back in Detroit, I had very little association with anything Spanish or even Mexican. My high school offered language courses of French and German. The Tigers had a couple of relief pitchers named Lopez and Hernandez. Mexican food was limited to a placed called Chi-Chi’s. There weren’t even any Taco Bells. Running to the border meant crossing the Ambassador Bridge to Canada.

But, with my feet standing on soil once controlled by Spain, I was faced with names like Sepulveda, Redondo, Hermosa, and Palos Verdes. Was Sepulveda, Sep-el-vay-dah or Seh-pul-ve-duh? I probably pronounced it improperly for many a year. Some places with Spanish names sound so much more romantic or exotic than their English counterparts. Palos Verdes is an enticing locale filled with equestrian trails and ocean-side mansions. However, “Green Sticks” sounds as if it should be in the backwoods of Kentucky.

Another name I love is my former town of La Habra. It was once called Rancho Canada de la Habra, which translates to A Pass through the Hills. I’m glad it was shortened. Also the only guy who should have “Pass through the Hills” on his return address stickers is Hugh Hefner. Another favorite is the sweet-sounding name of El Segundo. That is until I learned that it simply means, the Second and was thusly named because the Standard Oil Company placed its second oil refinery there in the early 1900s. I guess Hugh Hefner has spent a lot of time at Segundo base.

Other cool Spanish-named towns include La Mirada (the view), Los Alamitos (the little cottonwoods), and Cerritos (the little hills). The Spanish people got pretty creative with some of their names. Noting the curvature of the Santa Monica bay, they named one of the beaches, Redondo (round). Round Beach doesn’t just have the same pizzazz. Redondo’s neighbor to the north, Hermosa Beach, is a little redundantly named. Hermosa means beautiful. Hello? Are there any ugly beaches in California?

Some cities in the Los Angeles area use a combination of English and Spanish words. This is done to make the town sound much more attractive because adding any Spanish word to an English word automatically improves things. For example, there is Buena Park, Hacienda Heights, and Agoura Hills. Now if you were choosing a new town would you select Good Park or Buena Park? I think any Spanish word conjoined to an English word would make a lovely city name. How about, Siesta Springs or Tostada Trails?

As a fourth-grade teacher, I’ve had the pleasure of covering California history with my students. I’ve enjoyed teaching about the explorers, soldiers, padres, and politicians for whom many places around the Golden State are named. The other day I went to the Dominguez Ranch House, a local museum, to learn about its namesake because so many places around where I live are named Dominguez something or other.

The original Dominguez to come ashore in New Spain was a soldier traveling with explorer Gaspar de Portola named Juan Jose. Back then it was as easy to get land as it is handouts at a soup kitchen. Just ask for it. In 1784, J.J. Dominguez asked King Carlos III for some land and he wound up with basically the lower half of what is now the LA basin. A segundo soldier named Jose Dolores Sepulveda picked up most of the land north of Dominguez’s property. And a third soldier named Manuel Nieto was given a ton of land as well, which is now most of Orange County. Senior Nieto certainly got short-changed in the naming rights department because the only thing I know named Nieto is a side street in Long Beach.

Next month will mark the 23^rd anniversary of my migration west. In those years the LA area has become increasingly more ethnic. Spanish is still the predominate second language. Most stores and restaurants have a lot of Spanish words everywhere. And of course, I love the rich history that living in California affords. One of my favorite historical figures is the missionary Father Junipero Serra who traveled up and down the coast building missions. I just wish I could pronounce his first name. You say You-nip-er-o, and I’ll say, Yoo-neh-pear-o.