Sports Wishes for the New Year

Two of my biggest dreams came true in 2013. Tim McCarver retired and Major League Baseball

expanded instant replay for the coming season. In light of these two Earth-shaking events, here are my 2014 wishes for the sports world:

A retirement party for Dick Vitale. He’s become completely unwatchable. His shtick has become even more overbearing and annoying than it was 20 years ago. I had to get a new TV remote the other day. It didn’t have a “mute” button. Then I pushed a button labeled “Vitale” and it cut out the sound. I recently tried to watch a game that Vitale was working with closed captioning. The captioning couldn’t keep up with Dickie V. He was raving about Duke freshman Jabari Parker so rapidly that the captioning flat-lined. It just went blank. Then it made the same frustrated head-shaking sound as the Aflac Duck in the commercial with Yogi Berra. It’s time for Dick to follow McCarver into the sunset.

A very, very slight down year for Miguel Cabrera. I still hope he continues to rack up homers and RBI, but Mike Trout of the Angels needs to win the MVP award in 2014.

A time machine for Angels’ owner Arte Moreno. He could set it for 2009 when Albert Pujols, Josh Hamilton, and the recently acquired Raul Ibanez all started in the All-Star game. But those three have to make sure Trout doesn’t tag along for a joy ride. In ’09, he was still in high school.

A giant clue for Robinson Cano. Quick, name the two Yankee second basemen in the Hall of Fame. It’s a toughie. If you said Tony Lazzeri and Joe Gordon you’re a baseball history stud. Cano, a certain Hall of Famer, was on track to be the best Yankee second baseman in the team’s history. And he goes to Seattle? He must really like coffee. And rain. And cross-country flights. Players usually take the big bucks to go to New York. He was already there, playing in a stadium with the shortest right field porch east of my high school field. I’ve never understood leaving a good team for a bad one. Just for more cash. I know money talks, but the Yankees made him a fair offer. I long for the superstars like Cal Ripken and Tony Gywnn who played out their Hall of Fame careers with one team. Robby, the Mariners are not going to the playoffs anytime soon. Don’tcha Cano?

A chauffer for Yasiel Puig.

A vat of Barbasol for the Boston Redsox. I’m tired of outfielders looking like Civil War reenactors. Today’s players look like the cartoon characters in which Bugs Bunny square-danced with a Hatfield and a McCoy. The NFL has a very strict uniform policy. It fines players for wearing socks incorrectly. But in baseball, players can look like coal miners with beards as long as a Louisville Slugger. The Yankees have a facial-hair rule banning anything other than mustaches. It’s time for commissioner Bud Selig to expand this rule league-wide. Goatees and beards can still be worn, within reason. Just like umpires can issue a “cup check” in Little League, General Managers will have to do “beard checks” on their players. If he can grab a fistful of whiskers, like in the above picture, it’s time for a shave.

A really, really, really good head coach for the Lions. You have to go back to the early 70s to find a Lions coach with a winning record (Joe Schmidt. 1967-1972. 43-34). Even good ol’ Wayne Fontes was one game under .500. By Lions standards, they should rename the stadium after him. I don’t want another retread or unproven upstart like Jim Schwartz, Rod Marinelli, Dick Jauron, Steve Mariucci, and Marty Mornhinweg (combined 60-148 since 2001). The Ford family needs to either sell the team and take the nearest Ecoboost vehicle out of Motown, or pony (Mustang?) up and pay for an all-time great to come out of retirement. I’m talking somebody like Bill Cowher. Or Bill Parcells. How about Don Shula? At 83, he’d probably do better than Schwartz did over the last two months. The Lions have been bad for over 40 years. That’s longer than it took the Israelites to walk from Egypt to the Promised Land. Every team has a bad year or two. But 40? Look at the Carolina Panthers. In 2003, they lost the Super Bowl. In 2010, they finished 2-14. This year, they’re 12-4. They have a menacing defense and are the second seed going into the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Lions have been rebuilding, and rebuilding, and rebuilding.

A new two-point conversion play for the Michigan football team. The Wolverines need much more than that, like an offensive line, two new coordinators, and a better head coach. But I don’t want to be greedy. After the U of M Basketball team lost in the championship game, and the Tigers lost in a brutal manner in the baseball playoffs, a Michigan win over archrival Ohio State would have healed my sporting soul.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad year in my sports atmosphere. Michigan’s basketball run to the Final Four was magical, the football team beat Notre Dame, the Lions won on Thanksgiving, and Alabama was denied a chance to three-peat. I really hope a few of the above items can come true.

If so, 2014 will be flat out scary, babeeeeeeee!!

Happy New Year.

A Duck Dynasty Sermon

I’ve never seen an episode of Duck Dynasty. I’m sure you know by now, Papa Duck Phil Robertson has been all over the news for stating what he believes the Bible says about homosexuality in an interview with Gentlemen’s Quarterly magazine. A&E, the network that airs Duck Dynasty, has suspended him indefinitely. His picture has filled my Facebook page more than all of those Bitstrip comics. I want to see photos of my nieces and nephews. Not Phil and his scraggly beard.

This issue has dredged up so many things that I’m either just plain tired of, or don’t understand. The first thing that utterly baffles me is why in the world is GQ interviewing Phil Robertson in the first place? I mean, nothing says “GQ” more than rednecks in bandanas and camos. Phil and GQ go together like People Magazine’s “Sexiest Men of the Year” issue and me.

What I’m tired of the most is how this has become such a rivalry. I’m tired of all the animosity.

Christians vs. Homosexuals.

Liberal media vs. Conservatives.

Republicans vs. Democrats.

The only rivalries I want to read about are on the diamond or on the gridiron. Michigan and Ohio State is a rivalry. A few days ago I saw a news clip about a Republican congressman who is dealing with the recent death of his son. The senator, Jim Inofe, was surprised when his democratic colleagues offered him sympathy and condolences. Is this what our world has come to? We’re dismayed when someone from the “opposition” acts humanely. I’m tired of it.

Another thing I don’t understand is why are members of the media so interested in what Christians believe about homosexuality? Don’t you know by now, Mr. GQ reporter? Is it because you want to sell issues, and drive ratings, and create a social-media firestorm? Yeah, I thought so. Nice.

And you Mr. Robertson? What you said, albeit your personal beliefs, was mean and insensitive. Yes, you can say what you want. Freedom of Speech, blah, blah, blah. But, as a follower of Christ, how about mixing in some humility and love? How about quoting some of James and the Proverbs about taming the tongue and speaking with wisdom. Or how about not falling for the trap that interviewer set for you with his line of questioning. I believe you know a thing or two about hunting. Well that reporter had you in his sights like a duck floating on a pond.

I’m also tired of Christians and Christian groups waging wars of words with themselves over this issue. I read a blogger who wrote that Christians shouldn’t be up in arms over Robertson’s suspension because of bigger issues happening all over the world, like the 500 people who die in the Sudan every day.  Apparently somebody can’t do both. You can’t voice your opinion about a current news event here in the states, and at the same time devote your life to rescuing the Invisible Children in Uganda? I disagree.

I’m also tired of the self-righteousness of liberal Christian groups thinking they do a better job of loving the LGBT community and championing its rights and equality. Maybe they think they’re doing it in love, but often it sounds pompous and comes across as finger pointing. There’s a group on Facebook that I follow called the Christian Left. Many times this group uses satire to poke fun at the Christian Right. The group also blames the Right for the country’s woes and is quick to point out how wrong the Right is. This isn’t very Christian.

As my dear sister said to me the other day, it’s time everybody sat down and read the story Jesus told about the dude with the speck of sawdust in his eye.

The Christian Left Facebook page recently posted an image of a bible opened to a pair of blank pages titled, “What Jesus said about homosexuality.” So yeah, Jesus didn’t mention homosexuality. But He did mention sin. He told a woman caught in adultery to stop. He equated being angry with a brother to murder. He likened a man looking lustfully at a woman to adultery. I wonder if that applies to a man looking at a man lustfully, or a woman looking at another woman lustfully. Seems to me it should.

And when it comes to sin, why are Christians and the Liberal Media so freaking laser-eyed focused on homosexuality? Why not just focus on what the bible says about sin in general: THAT ALL MAN HAS SINNED. Straight or gay, why not worry about all of the other things that the Bible clearly says is sin: lust, gossip, greed, malice, slander, debauchery, drunkenness, to name only a few. And don’t forget a few of those all-important Ten Commandments: lying, checking out your neighbor’s wife, and drooling over your neighbor’s Lexus.

 It seems to me that the only one who should care about what the Bible says about homosexuality are those who are Christian and homosexual. If they truly are Christians, then they’re hopefully living according to what the Bible says about all areas of their lives. And it’s they’re prerogative to decide how to act sexually. It’s between them and God. This doesn’t mean that there can’t be debate and discussion on this issue. But the church, Right or Left of the pew, can no longer be judgmental or superior. The Liberal Media need to stopping trying to trap Christian celebrities and CEOs. They need to stop creating social media frenzies. They need to stop turning this issue into a war between rivals.

Now back to what the Bible says about sin. We’re all guilty. Everybody. You can buy that or not.

It says the penalty of sin is death. You can see your need to be rescued, saved, and redeemed from this death sentence or not.

It says that Jesus came as a baby, fully God and fully man, died a death that paid for your sins, and rose from the dead to show his power over death.

It says that anyone who believes in these things in the core of their hearts can be alive to God and dead to sin. Born into a new life, freed from the wages of sin. Reconciled with God. Loved by God as Father loves a son. Anybody.

Left.

Right. 

Even an Ohio State Buckeye.

As the Herald Angels sang:

Mild lays his glory by,

Born that man no more may die,

Born to raise the sons of earth,

Born to give them second birth.

Merry Christmas.

Being Unthankful on Thanksgiving

God tells us in His word to be thankful always. But, honestly, it’s too tough. So, I’m going to be unthankful this Thanksgiving. Here’s all the stuff for which I’m not thankful:

1.     Wars – Movies about wars are cool. So is reading about wars. I even enjoy visiting a battlefield. Give me a little Saving Private Ryan or Band of Brothers and some popcorn and I’m good to go. Throw in some Louis Zamperini too. I’d rather go to Gettysburg than to Disneyland. But going to war, not so much. Living through three wars, fearing the constant threat of war, seeing the death and destruction caused by war are things for which I am not thankful. However, I am incredibly thankful that I grew up and turned 18 in a time of peace. I’m also extremely thankful for the men and women who have served our country, liberated oppressed peoples, and sacrificed their lives for our freedoms.

2.     Natural Disasters – Katrina, Sandy, and Haiyan could be names from the next Miss Universe pageant. But instead we know them as a trio of devastation. Superstorms, typhoons, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, fires, floods, and tornados all stink and I’m not thankful for them. They kill thousands, uproot even more, wreck families, and destroy millions in property. Despite the fault lines running beneath Los Angeles like arteries under my skin, I’ve managed to survive unscathed. For that I am thankful. I’m thankful for the big bucks that people donate toward disaster relief, the folks who rescue the stranded, the organizations that clean up and rebuild, and the high-schoolers that go on mission trips to hug orphans in Haiti. Firefighters and all first-responders are my heroes. So I’m thankful for them too.

3.     Cancer. Hate it more than anything. So not thankful for it. And I might as well lump in all other random, debilitating, terminal, and ugly diseases. But, there are lots of people who have survived these diseases. And lots of others who devote days of their lives to raise money and awareness for good medical causes. And don’t forget the doctors and nurses who are knee-deep in disease everyday. Thankful, thankful, thankful. And yes, at 45, my number hasn’t come up on the cancer roulette wheel. Thankful.

4.     Mass shootings/bombings. It’s a crazy, scary world out there and these things are horrible. They’re unexplainable and really, really sad. I feel like I live on a roller coaster of amnesia. Something happens in Newtown or Boston and I’m shocked. My awareness is heightened. But then I forget until I go to a ballpark, a theater, or a fund-raising walk in downtown Los Angeles and see the security or the police force and the memories are brought back. Fear sets in. Questions arise. Could it happen here? I go to school and each day I’m reminded that my campus is now closed to parents and visitors. The gates are open just long enough to let the students in and out. But I don’t dwell on Sandy Hook every day. I’m thankful that I don’t live in daily fear that my school could be next.

I’m sure this list could easily be doubled: crime, poverty, homelessness, slavery, trafficking, etc. Perhaps, this amnesia is the biggest reason to be thankful in light of the evil around us. I think the absence of fear is what we need to cherish. The fear of being “next” would be paralyzing. We’d be unable to love, support, and help those in need. The amnesia takes the focus off of ourselves and allows us to care for the sick, to be a courageous first-responder, to send aid or serve in a war-torn or a typhoon-ravaged country.

It truly is a scary, evil world out there. But Christians believe that God is in control. The amnesia is a gift of his grace. Living without fear of evil requires a gripping trust in God’s plan for this planet. Many people find the problem of evil a hindrance to believing in God or trusting Him with their lives. I understand that. They ask, how could a good God allow all the pain and suffering in our world? It’s a legitimate question that takes pages and pages to answer.

But in a nutshell, He created a world with free will and with it the possibility of evil. “God created the fact of freedom and humans perform the acts of freedom.” He didn’t make robots. “Evil is inherent in the risky gift of free will.” We are living in a fallen and broken world that “is subject to disasters in the natural world that would not have happened had man not rebelled against God.” He sent Jesus to restore and redeem the world. Jesus understood evil. He prayed “deliver us from evil.” God could pick a time in the near future and decree that all evil is now banished. But then who of us would still be here? Not I.

Presently, this world is not the best of all possible worlds. Tomorrow’s earthquake, mass-shooting, suicide bomb, rumored war, and cancer patient make me feel like I’m living in the third quarter of Ohio State’s upcoming blowout win over Michigan.

But “it’s the best route to the best of all possible worlds.” I wonder how many people who reject God because of the presence of evil have read the ending to his book. It’s a good ending. He wins. The best possible world arrives. It’ll be a world without pain, suffering, and tears. Love will blow with hurricane force winds. Gratitude and laughter will be as thick as the bullets on D-Day. Cancer won’t be invited. “Freedom will be preserved and evil will be defeated.”

And that’s something for which I am deeply thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Quotes taken from “Who Made God and Answers to Over 100 Other Tough Questions of Faith,” by Ravi Zacharias and Normal Geisler.