Please Don't Start the Music

There’s a conspiracy brewing in our land.
Last Sunday’s temp hit the low 90s, and since my home-cooling system is as effective as the Michigan football team’s defense, I tried my best to stay indoors and away from home. After church, I dined at my favorite hotdog spot, graded a stack of papers at Starbucks, and did some shopping. My last stop was at Kohl’s. As I crossed through the Home section on my way to look at some new sneakers, I was suddenly stopped in my tracks.
Flabbergasted amid the picture frames.
Dumbfounded in the towel department.

I was ear-to-ear with my worst nightmare.
Christmas music.
In October.

A display of Christmas wares was on one of those annoying floor stands that make navigating the aisles harder than avoiding big-rigs on the 710. It was a plastic, plug-in gingerbread house with illuminating gumdrops playing Jingle Bells. I looked at the date on my phone to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. October 10. Halloween is still 21 days away. Seven weeks to Thanksgiving. Two-and-a-half months until Christmas. It can’t be.

I love Christmas music. I love the Hymns. Give me some Oh Holy Night and a little Joy to the World and I’m a junior Pavarotti. In DECEMBER! I love the old favorites and the latest remake of the old favorites by the star-de-jour. (Look for Katy Perry’s remake of “Christmas with the Beach Boys” album in November). But already? There needs to be a national law mandating that Christmas music cannot be played in any store until the day after Thanksgiving.

I dislike the fact that stores need to light up there Christmas displays soon after packing away the Back-to-School Items. But I understand it. They need to milk the Christmas season for all they can, and I’m sure there’s some super-anal, overly prepared people out there already buying presents, wrapping paper, and cards. They’re the same people who visit their tax guy the day after receiving their W2s, and never miss a visit to the dentist.

You see, Christmas is a season, like baseball or football. It starts with the day after Thanksgiving and runs until the day after New Years. Or until the last college football bowl game is over. Yes, baseball players have spring training in March, and football teams start practicing in July, but the Christmas season doesn’t have to start in October.

I like that Christmas in California can sneak up on me. The days are shorter and the weather cooler, but it’s still sunny and sometimes even downright hot in December. I like that come the first week of December I get to attend my school’s Christmas dinner, think about what crafts to have my students make for their parents, and count down the days to my three-week vacation. I don’t want to use one-fourth of the year to think about Christmas. I like to enjoy the season for what it is: the birth of the savior, cards, letters, traditions, cookies, family, advent services, parties, mangers, angels, sheep. The whole nine cubits. And the music.

Last year, I discovered a group looking to make the most out of Christmas by prompting people to cut back. It’s called the Advent Conspiracy (adventconspiracy.org). I hope that for you Christ’s birth changed your life. But are stress, traffic jams, debt, and lists what we really want out of Christmas? What if Christmas became a life-changing event again? Year after year.

Advent Conspiracy was started by five pastors in 2006. It is a help for churches to encourage their congregants to Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More and Love All. The website offers resources for pastors, videos, blogs, and ideas about what people around the world are doing to make the most out of Christmas.

AC realizes that Christmas starts with Jesus and its hope is to encourage others to worship Jesus fully by putting down burdens and celebrating a King. “To enter the story of advent means entering this season with an overwhelming passion to worship Jesus to the fullest.”

AC doesn’t take in any money. In fact, it hopes Americans will spend less. “America spends an average of $450 billion a year every Christmas.” Have you ever felt obligated to buy someone a present? How about received a present you didn’t want or need from someone you didn’t need or want a gift from? How about cutting back on the stress and burden of the season by purchasing one less gift this Christmas?

How do you spend less and still give more? By giving presence. “Time is the real gift Christmas offers us, and no matter how hard we look, it can’t be found at the mall.” Take the time to make a gift. Write a note with each Christmas card instead of just signing your name. Bake some cookies. Take the kids out. Spend time with others.

Things are tough these days. Many people may simply be spending less this year because they’re out of work. But we all have love to give. By spending less at Christmas we have the opportunity to give resources to those who need help the most. “When Advent Conspiracy first began four churches challenged this simple concept to its congregations. The result raised more than a half million dollars to aid those in need. One less gift. One unbelievable present in the name of Christ.”

AC also sponsors a clean water program. A lack of clean water is the leading cause of death in under-resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water-borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day, the number of children at 6.5 medium-sized elementary schools. “The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh-water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. Ten dollars will give a child clean water for life. Solving this water problem once and for all will cost about $10 billion.” Remember that stat about what America spends on Christmas?

AC is not trying to create a country of Grinches or Scrooges. Every December my family sends out Christmas lists. I find myself saying I don’t need anything, but I can usually think of a dozen things I want. We draw names and agree to buy a gift for the person whose name was drawn. But I always break the rule and get something for each family member. I really don’t need any gifts. If I truly need a book or a new cheese grater, I have the means to buy it myself. By not spending my own money on something I “need” just so I can ask a family member for it at Christmas seems selfish.

It is fun to bless others and surprise loved ones with gifts they don’t expect. There is joy in that. AC is not prescribing to stop all shopping. What’s better than watching a pajama-wearing, bed-headed child unwrap a new toy? I think the child in each of us still cherishes that gift-opening experience. Some people have the giving and receiving of gifts as their own love language. But as I get older, the Christmas memories I relish are the family meals, my annual cookie baking sessions with my sister, the night my wife’s family and I took donations to the Ronald McDonald house.

Perhaps the key to Christmas is balance. If you need to start planning and preparing for Christmas in October so you have more time and less stress in December, by all means go for it. Maybe that will be the sweetest music of all.

The (Face)book on the Baseball Playoffs

“The one constant through all the years,” said James Earl Jones’ character Terence Mann in the classic movie Field of Dreams, “has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time.”

If you haven’t noticed, I love baseball. Before I was potty-trained my dad instilled in me a passion for the pastime. Today the postseason begins, making October the most exciting month in all of sports.

Baseball appears to be as predictable as a price-hike at Starbucks. It’s easy to pencil in the teams with the deepest pockets for the playoffs. Back in the spring, I forecasted that the Angels, Redsox, Yankees, and Twins would reach the postseason from the American League and the Phillies, Braves, Giants, and Cardinals would be battling in the National League playoffs. I was correct on five of the eight teams. The Angels tanked this year and the Redsox suffered more casualties than General Custer and still won 89 games. To be honest, I don’t know what happened to the Cardinals.

But what makes baseball great is its uncanny ability to be unpredictable. Who knew the Reds would run away with NL central, the Rangers would cruise in the AL West and that the Padres would contend for the postseason before losing on the last day of the season? The Rays were in the World Series two years ago, so their great season is not a shocker.

After falling in love with baseball, my father taught me to hate. Abhor. Despise. Loathe. Detest. The object of my hatred: The Yankees. The Bronx Boogers. I would root for the Taliban if they played against the Yankees in the World Series. It’s a national holiday at my house when the Yanks lose a postseason series. Yankee Elimination Day, I call it. It started when Luis Gonzalez blooped that Texas Leaguer over a drawn in Derek Jeter to win the 2001 World Series for the Diamondbacks. Between 2002 and 2007 the Angels, Marlins, Redsox, Angels, Tigers and Indians knocked New York to the mat. And each year I popped the champagne as if it were New Year’s Eve. The Yankees missed the playoffs in 2008, but bounced back to win another world title last year. Which is why, starting today, I’m lifelong resident of the Twin cities. If Minnesota falters, I’ll be shopping online for Rays or Rangers gear.

Baseball appears to be dominated by the ultra-rich because of the Yankee’s success. But seven of the top nine teams with the largest payrolls missed the playoffs this year. Also, just because the Yankees have consistently overspent their way to October doesn’t mean that the competition isn’t balanced. This year’s postseason features five new teams. And starting in 2001, eight different teams have won the World Series. Only the Redsox won more than once in the past decade.

Rooting against the Yankees causes one to be a fan of the underdog. The once-cursed Redsox were the poster child for loveable losers. But now they’ve won two championships, they spend nearly as much money as the Yankees, and their fans are doubly obnoxious. Having the Redsox miss the playoffs this year is nearly as sweet as celebrating Yankee Elimination Day.

In the NL, the Phillies have reached the World Series for two straight years. So they’re just pinstripes of another color. With the way players shift from team to team these days, I find myself pulling for players I’ve grown to appreciate. I liked Reds shortstop Orlando Cabrera when he was on the Angels, so I hope he and his untested Cincinnati teammates can take down the Phillies. Now that Barry Bonds is no longer in San Francisco, I don’t have to cringe if the Giants do well. Plus, that pitching staff will be fun to watch.

The conundrum is what to do with the Braves. Back in 1991, Atlanta unexpectedly went to the World Series and lost a thriller to the Twins. For nearly a decade and a half Atlanta was a model of consistency, but only captured one championship. Somehow, all that winning did not spoil the Braves experience for me. Bobby Cox is a classic. The trio of Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz was just too good to deny. Atlanta didn’t overspend, but instead used trades and their farm system to maintain excellence. However, the annoying tomahawk chop does take them down a notch. It’s nearly as bothersome as having to listen to FOX broadcast Tim McCarver for the next three weeks.

The other day I was following status updates on Facebook of my friends who are also baseball fans. Somehow, unbeknownst to me, I stumbled on some sort of World Wide Web portal where I was getting status updates from ballplayers involved in some of the most famous postseason moments.


Vic Wertz: I should have pulled the ball. I hate the Polo Grounds (Willie Mays “Likes” this).

Bobby Thomson: I <3 the Polo Grounds.

Enos Slaughter: Running out for milk. Be back in a sec. Literally.

Johnny Pesky: I’ll be “holding” all my phone calls this October.

Kirk Gibson: Teaching my Diamondback players to hit a back-door slider …

Reggie Jackson: With one more at-bat I woulda hit four!

Bill Buckner: Going out for beers with Schiraldi and Stanley.

Don Larsen: Just returned from the chiropractor. Rizzuto, you hoist Berra next time.

Carlton Fisk: So excited! I start my new job tomorrow directing airplanes on the tarmac!

Bill Mazeroski wrote on Joe Carter’s wall: Joe, you may have been the highest-paid player at the time of your homer, but I’m in the Hall of Fame. Scoreboard!

Don Denkinger: Will be sending thank you notes to the first umpire to blow a call in the playoffs. Need Jim Joyce’s address.

Shoeless Joe Jackson: Twelve hits including the series’ only homerun. I’m just saying.

Annie Kinsella: If I had a dime for every time my husband hears voices …

Terence Mann: Corn. It is what it is.

Karin Kinsella: Likes handsprings and dislikes hotdogs.

Doc Graham: Hat shopping for Alicia (Again). Sigh.

Ray Kinsella: Plowing under another field. It’s how I roll.

Tony Gervase: Hey! Dad? You want to have a catch?